401 K?

I have had a lot on my mind mainly money. My last post was all about money and how much it makes me sick with stress. I started thinking today I could get out of debt with the bills I have now by using my 401 K. I realize if I do this I will have to pay taxes on it and take a huge penalty. But....I don't want to go further into debt either. I can always start my retirement over again. Besides I will have kids to take care of me, lol I know fat chance. I just feel hopeless right now. I know if I go the IVF route it is going to cost a small fortune. I don't want to finance anything else. I feel we are up to our eye balls in debt right now. I guess everyone was right buy a car and a baby comes along. I wish I would have bought the damn car SOONER. Oh and I still haven't mailed my packet yet. They keep calling me so I am mailing it not finished. I was supposed to go by Dr. Bullards office and get my records but that isn't happening. Everything she did for me I consider a bad dream. Like it never happened.  At least Chris got his medical records from Dr. Hitt. At least one set of medical records are in the mail.
Yall keep praying it happens this month. I would so love to cancel the appointment to the fertility clinic.I don't know why but I am terrified of going. It seems silly but it freaks me out. I keep wondering why God didn't make me like everyone else. Why do I have to go thru this? I know I shouldn't question him. He knows what he's doing I just wish he would tell me.