Knowledge is power but too much and it can actually be harmful. I don't know why but when I am stressed out about something I like to read of ways to fix it. I guess that's why I read my bible every day. I want to do what God wants me to do. I know that my over obsessing over my new found illness is not healthy. This last weekend I blew my diet out of the water and let my doubts take over my thinking. I read and re-read Web Md. and other sites about endometriosis. I know more about the sickness than I should. I even watched a you tube video of a Dr. removing the scaring from some poor woman's ovaries and junk. It was GROSS but I felt I needed to sit and watch this video for five minutes. Why? I don't know I guess it's my way of coping with all the stress I am under. It's funny too talking to people about my surgery. They are surprised I am having to wait so long to have my surgery when in my mind July 30th is just around the corner it really isn't. I have my worries one is always money. Money to pay for the surgery bills, work, blah blah blah. That's when I kick myself in the tail and tell myself to stop over-thinking all of it. I actually had a small panic attack after my visit with Dr. Ramie. It took me several hours to gather my wits to even try to write my blog. I sat in front of my lap top and just cried and let the tears flow. I can't say that it made me feel better. Actually I got a horrible headache because of it. Also I need to go to the eye dr. I have no more contacts to ruin and I hate wearing my glasses. So I sucked it up and sat down and pushed through my feelings of defeat. I know deep down that this is not the end of my journey I am getting answers they are just not the ones I signed up for. God knows what he wants for me I am just one hard headed child. At least that's what my Mom says.
On a different note last week I began a new beginning with my nutritionist Jennifer. I soon won't be on Ideal Protein. I am starting a new system and for the life of me I just forgot the name of it. But anyways it cost less and taste better has really good vitamins and is just as filling. I also started my training with Jennifer she has me doing all kinds of torture I mean exercises to firm me up. As I continue to lose weight I am getting kind of squishy in the middle. She is whipping me into shape. If anyone is interested in any of her classes she offers at her gym or is interested in weight loss or hiring her as a personal trainer you won't be sorry. She is one of the most awesome inspiring people I have ever met. She loves her job and it shows. She knows how to make you into the person you can only dream of. It is all a matter of if YOU WANT IT. Contact me on Facebook if you are serious about meeting her. Well I guess that just about sums up this update. I am going to stay away from Web MD. and not over think everything that I now know. Please continue to pray for me. I love you all and thank you from the bottom of my heart. Have a wonderful week and stay tuned for the next update.
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